Baby Momma!

24Apr11

Mama is on the phone again. I am thirsty. My head hurts. My eyes are burning. Why wont she talk to me? Still talking on the phone. Talking. Talking so much!

Oh goody, cartoons. Maybe Dora will be on. Then Mama can give me my drink while I watch Dora. Maybe if I turn the volume up she will see that I am watching TV and then come and give me something over here…

Excuse me for one moment Sir, do you mind if I quickly put you on hold while I take another call?

Sweetheart, can you turn that noise down? You know Mama is trying to work and has a deadline to meet! Good girl, please turn the volume down? …….. Come on! I am going to ask you one last time – don’t make me come over there to turn the TV off!

Fine! It’s almost on mute now!
“Mama, I’m thirsty and hot and my eyes huuuuuurrrt”.

…
Maybe if I lie down next to her, here she won’t forget me!

“oh my good girl, thank you for waiting for mama. Mama has been very naughty and left you all alone. You are burning up baby. Lets get you sorted out…”

*        *        *

It’s hard struggling with those deadlines, especially when life has a habit of just happening, while you are busy planning for something else! In the case of young children it is best to try and work during their down times, like during their nap time, during play school hours or in the evening once they’ve gone to bed.

A mother we spoke with suggested feeding your toddler or child, making sure they are comfortable and allowing them their TV time (or other activity) while you are on your call or completing your task. (That is as part of their scheduled TV time and not as a bribe to be good!). This is especially the case for those that do not have extended family or a nanny to help with child minding. Another mother found from her own experience, that working in small shifts and breaking her work down into smaller tasks was one way of balancing her work and young child. She set her tasks according to her own child’s attention span and schedule. Effective, but perhaps more difficult for her as she has to keep switching gears.

In the case of illness, a less regular occurrence perhaps, I personally believe I would put my child first and push back any deadlines I have to meet. It is a fine line deciding which to put first and neither choice is wrong. It is societal pressures that make us feel a leaning towards one or the other is the wrong choice… and let me assure you that whatever you choose, there will be those on the other side of the fence waiting to sit in judgment! Lest we cast aspersions on our mother and worker above, her sense of duty should be applauded. Perhaps she did not realize her little girl was unwell, we really don’t know how long it took to get to her girl and it appears that this mother too felt a sense of guilt at having neglected her daughter to get her work done.

Although there will be times where your planning goes to seed, your agenda in the bin and all routine in the shredder; with a great amount of planning and decent routine and a phenomenal agenda making ability – you can get them both done. The question then is: Are we as women, programmed to feel guilty about turning our backs on our family / or ourselves and our need for self worth through work? Or is this perfect balance possible without any punishable feelings about our self worth as mothers’ workers, members of society?

What do you think?

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Tags: societal pressure, work-life balance, working mothers, working with children